Almost is so hard. Almost is a tough word. Almost there. Almost done. Almost through this.
In our case we are at “almost a year”. That’s hard to swallow. Every event, every holiday or every big moment I looked at the previous year’s pictures and known she was there. These moments sometimes bring laughter but more than not heartache. Melina was there.
Now this past year I look back and see that she wasn’t. How can I look back at her absence? You are never supposed to suffer the absence of a child. Ever. And that absence is there. Every day. Trust me. It’s just right below the surface, good and bad. Some moments take your breath away. Others bring you so much joy. The reminders, the memories. Oh baby girl everything about you brings so much joy and heartache!
But I can’t fathom looking back and not seeing Melina there every single day. I struggle with all of that. So I started thinking how? And when I did I saw something so different. I looked back and started to see what Melina has accomplished this past year. I see true generosity. I see giving in ways I cannot imagine. I see empathy. I see compassion. I see goodness. And above all I truly see the JOY Melina brings. This is Melina being here with us.
I am blessed by every message that is sent to me of how Melina has impacted your life. I am blessed to know my baby girl is greater than me. She is greater than all of us. She is bigger than life and that is who Melina was. Melina’s purpose will surpass my own. Of that I am sure.
As we approach ten months I miss Melina more than life. I miss everything about her, the crazy, the smiles, the competition, and those curls. But somehow my baby girl is present. Melina may not be here physically but she has more power than all of us.
You my sweet girl are changing the world. You my sweet girl will be someone’s miracle. Because now you have no limits. Melina we choose Joy for you. And everyday for the rest of my life I will wake up and choose your Joy. After almost ten months I have learned two things. One I will never be the same because you make us all better. And two I will always find your JOY because you show me daily your Joy is larger than life. You my sweet girl are always right here. 💚🌈💚